Getting Ready

I did my eyes
put on lipstick
curled my hair
slipped into my black dress
patterned with pink and green mid-summer branches

the woman was
always beautiful

have I done it?
I check the mirror

the man in my head laughs
snickers
pounding he yells

YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS!

Voices
a procession of childhood shadows

YOU ARE HIDEOUS!

the woman cowers
anxiety growing as she shrinks
panic
rapid walking in short about faces
eyes searching
jumping from nothing to nothing

Fuck! He is here.